


The Ring in the Dark Blue Velvet Box

by AidanJail



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denied proposal, Established Relationship, M/M, Minor Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Minor Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders, it hurts a lot ngl, janus has two (2) boyfriends - patton and logan, logan has two (2) boyfriends - roman and janus, several of them lmao, spoilers for Putting Others First - I used Deceit's name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24047491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AidanJail/pseuds/AidanJail
Summary: Janus wanted to propose that night. So did Logan.Something went wrong, and it was nobody's fault.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	The Ring in the Dark Blue Velvet Box

**Author's Note:**

> I had a very sad and upsetting idea, and I have a lot of feelings about weddings (both good and bad, I won't go into specifics), and I thought "hey, let's write this very upsetting scenario and put some of my fave characters through it". And this is what happened.
> 
> I hope y'all will enjoy it :3

Janus stared at the dark blue velvet box in his hand for a really long time. It was open, and in it laid a silver ring, encrusted with black and blue stones. A wedding ring.

Now, Janus was far from being the kind of person to get married. He honestly had never thought it’d be something he ever wanted. He had a lot of issues about the whole marriage thing, mainly because of all the failed marriages he had seen throughout his entire life - his parents being a prime example of bad marriages turning into a prison with no escape. He had, all his life, been convinced that he’d never get married, and that marriage was bad, something that brought so much negativity… And yet here he was. A velvet box with a ring inside, about to propose to his boyfriend of several years now.

His boyfriend was different. Logan had always talked fondly about marriage, and how it seemed really good and how lovely it seemed, to have a ring on your hand stating that you were married. Not that you were taken - both of them were polyamorous, both of them had other partners -, but that you were with someone you loved, that your fates were intertwined. Logan seemed to hold marriage dear, and at first, Janus hadn’t understood why. It made no sense to him - but now… Now it did. An eternity together felt like heaven, and a ring truly didn’t even begin to show how much he wanted this with Logan. How he wanted everything with him.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want it with Patton, his other boyfriend - it just was different. Patton and Janus had never really talked about these things, they’d never thought about the future as much. Patton felt like an open field, freedom, a nice weather. Logan felt like an old library, tea mugs and cuddles while the storm raged outside. Not to mention that Patton and Janus had widely different goals in life - and while they could make it work for a romantic relationship, Janus feared it would become harder if they were to get married. He was fairly certain Patton agreed, too.

Janus sighed. He heard the entrance door open and closed, and he quickly stood up, pocketing the box. He’d ask over dinner. He had everything planned, and even prepared a small speech - although he could already tell he’d forget about it and wing the whole thing, because that was always how it went with him. He headed to greet his boyfriend, smiling when Logan pecked his lips.

“Hey there love. How was your day?

\- It was good, thank you dear., Logan answered with a smile.

\- I’m glad then.”

Logan hummed at that, putting his bag down and hanging up his coat, before looking at Janus with a grin. 

“You have that face on., Janus commented.

\- What face?

\- The face you make when you have an idea you want to talk about.

\- Damn., Logan chuckled, You’re good at reading me.

\- Well, I would hope so, we’ve been living together for a while now. Not to mention that we’ve been dating for even longer.”

Logan smiled and pecked Janus’s lips again.

“You’re right. I do want to talk about an idea of mine - but it’ll have to wait, because I need a drink first.

\- Alright., Janus laughed, Go get hydrated love!”

Logan laughed as he headed to get himself some water. Janus slid his hand in his pocket, holding onto the box that was that. His boyfriend gave him a grin, and he felt his heart swell - god he loved this man so much. Logan finished his glass and put it down, before grinning excitedly at Janus.

“Alright, so, I have something to ask you.

\- Oh really? So do I., Janus chuckled.

\- Oh? Well, do you wanna go first?

\- Oh no, do go ahead, my question can wait - you seem way too excited to share your thoughts, and that definitely peaked my interest.”

That got another wide grin from Logan, and Janus had to say he’d give anything to see his favourite nerd smile like that all the time. It was so beautiful and lovely, so… Perfect. He smiled and nodded for Logan to go ahead.

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I’m gonna propose to Roman.”

Janus froze at that. Then he felt the blood drain from his face, and he couldn’t tell how come he didn’t drop on the floor with how weak he suddenly felt. He gulped, and internally thanked all the entities that Logan was too excited to notice, because he was sure that his face must’ve dropped. He took a deep breath before forcing a smile back on. 

Logan looked so happy though. He looked excited and happy and delighted, and it was all that Janus ever wanted. He squeezed the velvet box in his pocket and forced a giggle out, focusing back on what Logan was saying. 

“I saw the ring, you know? And I knew for sure it was the ring I’d want to propose to Roman with. It was  _ it _ ! And I know he and I only talked about marriage a few times, but… It’s perfect for him. So I bought it! And I’m gonna propose to him on our next date. I already planned everything-”

Janus tried his best to focus on the conversation, but his thoughts kept taking over and Logan’s voice sounded like Janus was under water.. Did he know about the feeling of finding the perfect ring to propose to someone? Yeah. That’s what he had felt when he had seen the ring that was in the box, in his pocket. He had hesitated for so long that he was almost convinced that, when going back, he’d be told that the ring had been bought, which would’ve meant no proposal, nothing - but no, the ring was still there. And so was his feeling that it’d be okay, that him and Logan would be happy if they got married. He gulped and tried to focus back on what Logan was saying.

“-and you know, I know you don’t want to get married, so, I knew it wouldn’t be an issue with you, you know. So-”

Ah. Yes. Obviously. Janus was bad at expressing his feelings, especially when it came to correcting himself. He wasn’t sure how to express anything. He’d tried to tell Logan that he had changed his mind - but he didn’t know how. Visibly, he hadn’t managed to convey his change of heart at all. That was all on him then. Failed on that too, eh? Janus gulped, trying to hide how he felt like he had taken a very cold shower. He either managed very well, either Logan was too excited to notice that too.

“So, what do you say? Because, you know. I’m a bit stressed, what if it’s not perfect? Do you think he’ll say yes? I mean, I don’t know. What if he doesn’t?”

Logan was obviously a bit stressed, and that snapped Janus back to reality. He chuckled and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek, letting go of the box still in his pocket.

“Roman loves you, Lo. He’ll say yes, and you’ll have the most beautiful wedding.

\- And you’ll help us prepare it, even though you’re not a huge fan of them?, Logan asked with a hopeful sort of tone.

\- Of course I’ll help. Anything for my favourite nerd.”

And he meant it. His heart was kind of in pieces, but he’d help. Especially with the wide smile on Logan’s face right there.

“So… What did you want to ask?”

Janus managed not to flinch at that and he grinned.

“Just wanted to know if we could order pizza instead for tonight?

\- Oh, of course! I’ll call them if you want?

\- That’d be really sweet of you love.”

And with that, the subject was over. Janus headed to their bedroom, kneeled in front of his nightstand, all the way to the bottom drawer, and he put the box there, to the back of the drawer. Where nobody would find it unless they were searching for it. He sighed as he closed the drawer, sitting on their bed.

It’s not that he didn’t want Logan to marry Roman. He was truly happy for Logan and Roman, they were lovely together… But it still kind of hurt. Because they couldn’t all get married. Because he’d worked really hard on getting over his fear of commitment, because it had taken a lot for him to manage to make peace with his wishes, a lot for him to get the ring, a lot for him to work out the courage to ask. And because his insecurities were always around, saying all sorts of mean things, all sorts of fake things. Except this time, he refused to tell Logan about them - Logan didn’t need that right now, it’d only stress him out even more, or likely would lead to him second-guessing himself. Janus refused to do that to him. The box would stay in the nightstand, and everything would be alright.

Logan would have a perfect wedding, Janus would make sure of it. Regardless of who would be waiting for him at the altar.

~~

Janus was on the couch, his computer on one of the chairs that he had put facing him, his tablet in his lap as he doodled. He was alone in the flat, Logan being on a date with Roman. Well, not a date - Logan was on THE date. He was proposing tonight. Janus had done his best to help his nerd get everything done and perfect, and try to keep Logan from panicking completely. It had worked, and Janus really hoped everything would go according to plan. It had already almost been ruined by the rain, but luckily it had stopped before the beginning of the date. Supposedly, the date would end in a couple of hours, but Logan would most likely want to spend the night with his then fiancé - he’d text Janus, and Janus would have the night to mope over not being the one to wear the ring and get over it.

It was such a stupid thing to be upset about though. He wasn’t sure why he was upset even. He had never dreamed of a wedding, never fantasized about it. Never even saw himself get married. Never hoped for a proposal, never really thought about it until he had seen that ring. Until he had known Logan could mean forever. Until he had realized he trusted Logan with everything. He sighed and focused back on his drawing, his phone waiting by his side.

When the doorbell rang, about 30 minutes after, Janus frowned. Who the hell would come to their flat in the middle of the night? Patton didn’t live in the city and hadn’t managed to free himself the weekend, or he would’ve been there - when Janus had told him the story, Patton had immediately made sure that Janus’s bad thoughts would stay away. He was really not interested in getting married, and when Janus had apologized for wanting to marry Logan, Patton had laughed and waved it off with a “Never saw myself in that position, never thought that far ahead. The idea of getting married definitely makes me anxious, hah.”, which did make Janus laugh.

But back to the doorbell - Patton not being an option, the person who frantically rang the bell was definitely worrying Janus. He went to answer the door and he froze when the answer was a choked up Logan. He opened their flat’s door, closing it once the other got in, before grabbing the tissues and leading Logan to the couch. Why was his boyfriend crying…? Janus was definitely worried. He waited for the other’s sob to quiet down though - Logan would speak when he felt up to it.

It took a few minutes before Logan stopped sobbing, even though he kept hiccuping for a while. Janus had put an arm around his shoulders, rubbing circles in his back, trying to soothe him. Logan leaned against him and Janus kissed the top of his head. They stayed silent for a while, before Logan choked out a small quiet “He said no.”.

Janus froze, before squeezing Logan’s shoulder, holding him closer. Roman had said no? The questions started popping up in his head, but he managed to keep quiet. Why would Roman say no? Why would he not want to marry Logan? Had something happened? Did Roman hesitate? Was it Janus’s fault? Maybe Roman had been worried that it’d hurt Janus, maybe Janus just needed to call and reassure him, even though they’d only talked a few times at Logan’s birthdays and other festivities…- He looked at his boyfriend and bit his lip, shaking his head slightly to get rid of the thoughts..

“He said we were too young. Said he wasn’t ready for that. Said it wasn’t really something he’d want right now.”

Logan’s voice was more of a whisper at this point, but Janus could hear him clearly in the complete silence of the flat. He whispered a quiet apology, and Logan sniffled. Janus handed him another tissue.

“He said that when we’d talked about it, he didn’t think I was seriously considering it. Said he didn’t even know if it was something he wanted. He said I hadn’t made it clear enough- Of course I didn’t, I just thought- I-

\- It’s okay, I know., Janus whispered.”

Logan nodded, burying his face in Janus’s neck. They stayed like that, silent, for a bit.

“I don’t know what to do now. I don’t know what I want anymore.

\- It’s okay love.”

Janus kissed Logan’s temple. His boyfriend curled up, and he pulled him into his lap. Logan clung onto him, and Janus’s heart ached. He hated not being able to help. He didn’t know what could be done to help. Didn’t know if there was any way to help even. He held Logan close.

“I thought he knew- I asked him if he wanted to get married at some point in his life and he said yes! I asked him how he’d want to be proposed, I asked him what kind of marriage he wanted, whether he wanted to propose or for someone to propose to him… I thought it was clear enough, I don’t understand how he didn’t get it, am I too unclear, am I-

\- I’m not sure how you could’ve been clearer than that. I’m sorry love.”

Logan fell quiet, and stayed there. Janus held him tight and hoped it would be enough right now.

“I love him so much…

\- I know. He loves you too, you just are at different points in your life, it’s okay. It happens.

\- I… Yeah. You’re right… 

\- Always am., Janus joked, his tone soft.”

That got a quiet chuckle from Logan, and Janus counted it as a win. It was enough for the night. 

They stayed in that position for a while, Logan in Janus’s lap, curled up. Logan clang onto Janus the whole time, and Janus felt even worse than before. He didn’t know how to make his boyfriend smile again - all he wanted was to make his boyfriend smile again.

Once Logan’s breathing slowed down significantly, Janus picked him up and carried him to bed, helping him out of his clothes and into his pajamas. After turning all the lights off, he joined his boyfriend in bed, and Logan curled up around him. Janus hated to see his boyfriend like this… It felt like the world had ended. He sighed, and started to think of ways to make him smile again.

He just wanted Logan to be happy.

~~

Logan stared at the dark blue velvet box he had found in the bottom drawer of Janus’s nightstand. He had been searching for a very specific picture that he knew Janus kept preciously somewhere when he had seen that, in the back of the drawer. That looked like a jewelry box. A box for a ring. Which was strange.

It’s not that Janus didn’t wear jewels. Janus actually wore tons of them - Logan often joked that the man was addicted to them, and Janus always poked fun at himself for always stopping in front of jewelries. Logan would never complain about it for real - Janus looked great with all these jewels. It fitted him. He looked like an heir, with all of these.

No, the weird thing was that Janus kept all his jewels in a very specific place in his study, and nowhere else. It was part of these things Janus always put at the same place, one of the constant - so it made no sense for this to be there. Logan frowned and opened the box.

The ring inside the box was the most beautiful thing Logan had ever seen. Silver, chiseled, encrusted with black and blue stones. Nothing “too much”, quite discreet, but oh so precise and clearly meant to be an engagement ring. Logan felt scared to touch it, as if it would vanish if it came into contact with anyone but the person this was destined to.

And Logan’s stomach kind of dropped at that thought. Because clearly, this was a ring to propose to someone. And that someone had to be Patton.

It wasn’t that Logan thought he was the secondary there. He knew Janus loved both of them equally, and that they both meant so much to him - but Patton made so much more sense. Janus and Patton had been dating for longer - granted by only a couple of months or so, but still. Patton was also better with feelings, and if anyone was to manage to get Janus to want to propose, surely it would be him.

Which brought Logan to the reasons why this hurt. Janus had always been so sure he’d never get married. Always made it clear that he wasn’t a fan of weddings, always stated that it wasn’t him. Sure, he listened to Logan ramble about weddings, and even gave opinions, but that was it. He’d repeatedly said that he’d never propose to anyone, because he wasn’t the kind of person to do that, even! And yet, here he was, planning on proposing to Patton. Despite saying repeatedly that he and Patton weren’t all that interested in getting married. And not only did that feel really painful for Logan because of his own insecurities, it also reminded him that he hadn’t gotten his boyfriend to marry him, while Patton would definitely say yes. Of course Patton would say yes. Logan sighed.

He closed the box and let out a chuckle, composing himself back.

“You didn’t tell me you were planning on proposing to Patton!, he called out jokingly.”

That was the other thing. Making this decision had most likely taken some time, knowing Janus and how he took decisions - balancing pros and cons, comparing everything, double checking every single detail… Had he kept quiet because it was around the time Roman had denied his own proposal? That would make sense. Definitely hurt though. Another reminder.

“What are you talking about?, came Janus’s answer, tone obviously confused.

\- The velvet box? In your drawer? With the wedding ring in it?, he said teasingly, Don’t tell me you already forgot about an engagement ring!”

The silence that followed was tense, and only made Logan more certain that Janus had kept quiet about it because of the whole thing with Roman. He forced out a laugh.

“You know it’s okay right? It’s not because Roman told me no that you’re not allowed to get married, my dear.”

He hoped his voice wasn’t too hesitant. God, he hoped it wasn’t, because he was literally feeling like his heart had been shattered and stepped upon repeatedly, and he could feel the anxiety and panic attack creeping in. Logically, he knew this should be okay, and it wasn’t against him, he did, but… It didn’t feel like that at all, alright?

Janus stood in the doorway, and Logan’s eyes snapped to him. Something was off, but he couldn’t pinpoint what exactly. That is, until he could and he frowned a little. Janus was really pale. Sure, he was generally quite pale, but right away, he looked somehow paler. He was tense, and looked generally horrified. Logan tensed a little. This couldn’t mean anything good… 

“Why did you look in that drawer?”

Logan froze at that. Janus’s voice was a quiet whisper, and it was definitely not a good tone. He sounded like he was about to start crying and was barely holding himself together, and that was really scary, because Logan hadn’t heard his boyfriend sound like this in ages. Not since Janus’s last big meltdown. He bit his lip before clearing his throat.

“I was looking for that picture you have of our first anniversary together… I don’t know where you put it, but I’ve seen look in your drawers a few times, so I assumed that was where you might’ve put it.

\- O-oh…”

Janus looked away and shook his head, before pointing to the trunk in the corner of the room.

“It’s in there. That’s where I put all of the important happy memories.”

He kept his eyes away from Logan, and that definitely made Logan feel like his heart had stopped and his blood had gone cold. Janus never looked at people in the eyes, but he always kept an eye on his partners. Except when he was in a really bad place and couldn’t visualize any faces, of course, but Janus wasn’t having a meltdown, and Logan was worried. He thanked him, before going to him slowly, hoping not to startle him and that his boyfriend would let him come close. Janus didn’t move away, just kept his eyes on the floor. Logan was fairly sure his worry was written all over his face.

“Baby, what’s wrong…?

\- Everything’s fine, Logan.

\- That’s a lie, and we both know it., he whispered, taking one of Janus’s hands softly.”

When Janus didn’t pull away, Logan brought the hand up to his lips and kissed Janus’s knuckles softly.

“Please talk to me? There’s nothing I can’t hear, I promise.”

Janus kept quiet for a while. Logan waited patiently. He’d wait until the end of the world if needed too - he just wanted to help Janus.

“I bought the ring 2 months and 6 days ago., Janus whispered.”

So barely a couple of days before Logan had told Janus about his plan of marrying Roman. Alright… That didn’t explain the secrecy though. Was it because Janus hadn’t been willing to steal the focus…? That didn’t sound right, Janus never kept secrets from Logan before, not on things this important.

“Why didn’t you tell me about it? I would’ve helped you plan the proposal, dear. You helped with mine… I would’ve loved to help with yours.”

Janus kept his eyes down and his mouth shut. Logan felt kind of worse minute by minute. 2 months and 6 days and the ring was still there… 

“Did you try and he said no? Is that why you still have the ring? Or did you not find the right time, and-

\- The ring wasn’t for Patton, Logan.”

Janus’s voice was quiet, but Logan heard it clear as day, and he froze. What…? But - if it wasn’t for Patton, then that meant that… Janus only dated the two of them, and the realization dawned on Logan really quickly. And the only way he could describe the feeling that crawled on his back and slid between his ribs, wrapping itself around him was “dread”. Strong, ensnaring dread.

“It wasn’t?, Logan choked out.”

Janus shook his head, and Logan felt his heart shatter again. Because that wasn’t good at all, was it? It could only mean one thing.

He had denied Janus’s proposal without meaning to.

And god, that felt awful. He knew the feeling that receiving a “no” gave you. But this wasn’t even a “no”, this wasn’t even a proper denial, this was just… Indirect and painful. Then he thought about how Janus had helped him plan his proposal. And how much that must’ve hurt so much more. Logan felt his chest tighten, and he kissed Janus’s knuckles again, squeezing his hand slightly. Janus squeezed back, softly.

Janus looked at Logan, and Logan could see how hurt Janus was, all the pain he had kept quiet. Not only did an indirect “no” must’ve hurt, but that coupled with Logan not knowing and Janus not wanting Logan to know meant that Janus must’ve bottled up all his feelings again, even though he and Logan had been working on not doing that to each other. That and the fact that Janus must’ve used a lot of courage to buy the ring, make the decision… And then to be shut down immediately. That was worst. Logan gulped.

“I’m sorry - I didn’t mean for you to find out…, Janus whispered.”

Logan froze and looked at Janus in astonishment, and a bit of horror. Why was Janus apologizing?

“I didn’t want you to feel guilty when it was on me. I was too afraid of commitment, and I had the whole thing with… You know. Bad role models, bad memories… I made sure that wedding wasn’t even an option - that’s on me. But I knew you’d blame yourself - please don’t blame yourself -, so I didn’t say anything… And when Roman said no… Well. I didn’t feel like that was the right moment. Didn’t think it’d be a good idea. I was worried you’d think I was pitying you or something, or that you’d say yes as a rebound, or…, Janus sighed, Or that you’d confirm the feeling that you’d rather be with Roman and didn’t want me at all.

\- Oh, darling…-

\- No, I know, you love me, I know you do. You never made me feel like you didn’t love me. But you know how my brain works… What ifs, and you seemed so happy to marry Roman, and so crushed when he said no, I was terrified you might be disappointed, or… Or simply that you wouldn’t be as thrilled because of the change in plans. I don’t know. It’s not logical, but when is my brain ever?, he said with a weak chuckle.”

Logan squeezed his hand and Janus squeezed back. They stayed quiet for a while, and Logan could see the tears filling up his boyfriend’s eyes, and slowly rolling down his cheeks. He stepped closer and leaned their foreheads together, taking Janus’s other hand in his own. Janus closed his eyes, and so did he. They stood there for a while more, before Logan smiled slightly and mumbled.

“The ring is beautiful by the way. It’s very… Me. Very us.”

Janus let out a quiet, wet giggling noise at that, and Logan squeezed his hands. He prefered that to the hollow tone Janus had before that.

“You think so?

\- Yes. I love it.”

There was a small silence, before Janus whispered quietly.

“Enough for you to wear it, maybe?”

Logan paused, his eyes opening immediately, as he stared at Janus with a mix of shock and awe. Janus looked a bit hesitant, worried too, but he wasn’t backing off of this.

“Definitely., he whispered;

\- Really?

\- Really., he nodded.”

Janus looked at him in awe, a lovestruck expression on his face, and Logan felt like he would melt at any moment. Janus let go of his hands and cupped his face before kissing him softly. Logan leaned into the touch and in fact melted, kissing Janus back. Sure, it wasn’t taking away the pain of the previous denied proposal, but it was a start, and it felt nice.

Janus had always had a good eye to pick ring sizes, and jewelry in general. It fit Logan perfectly, and it looked lovely with all of his wardrobe.


End file.
